When I fill out his PreK application, I'll be adding extortion to his list of hobbies

Friday I put Ellie down for a nap and sprinted for the bathroom before Evan noticed I was gone. Any time I wander down the hallway and she's asleep he takes it as a personal challenge to turn on the siren and come searching for me.

He was hot on my tail though, carrying a six pack of the Ensure that we give to Lucas to keep weight on him.

"I have one of these? It's chocolate milk!"

"No Ev, those are for Luke. Mommy will get you some chocolate milk in your cup in a minute."

"NOOOOOO! I want this one, this one in the bottle like a big boy!"

I'm getting ready to stand up, wash up, and whisk him back to the living room, my hand clamped over his mouth when I notice that I'm out of toilet paper. I lean to get some from the cabinet and see that we're out there too. Then I spot it sitting on the floor next to my bedside table, Mike clearly unable to carry such a heavy load another 5 feet.

"Hey Evan, do you see the toilet paper?"

He looks over. "Yeah, it's wight there."

"Yes. Can you hand it to Mommy?"

"Can I have this?" He holds up the Ensure.

"Um, no. Those are for Lucas, now please hand mommy the toilet paper." I'm enunciating every word in the hopes that this will induce compliance.

"No, I don't want to, I WANT THIS." He's yelling now and my patience is about as short as Ellie's nap is apparently going to be.

"Evan, give me the toilet paper please, you are not having a shake."

He calmly looks at me, gauging my intent. He sets down the Ensure on the threshold of the bathroom then walks over and picks up the toilet paper, and I sigh in relief. Never taking his eyes off of me, he turns and gently sets it down next to the shakes, then turns and walks off.

Incidentally, under duress I can stretch a really, really long way.