Sunday, September 28, 2008

Pack your bags, you're going on a guilt trip

I wanted to thank everyone for all of their support and advice with Mike and Brett. I've been having a really hard time finding my mommy way lately and you guys helped me so much to find my voice (and a little bit of sanity) again.

This morning I sat Mike and Brett down and told them that we were clearly at an impasse. And that in the interest of promoting trust and a good relationship with them, that I am going to believe that they were telling the truth about not taking the pop tarts. And how, especially as teenagers having the trust of your parents is a huge asset and not something that you want to find yourself without. I reiterated that they're coming of the age where things like going out, hanging out with friends, driver's licences, and curfews are going to start coming into play. All of which are not rights, but privileges that they will have to prove that they are worthy of, and that a healthy relationship with us is the best first step they could have towards earning them. Not to mention how hurt and disappointed I'll be if I find out that they were lying.

Then I told them that they would be un-grounded as soon as they had completed the usual regime of Sunday chores.

I don't think I've ever seen those boys move so fast.


April said...

Very diplomatic way of dealing with this situation.

I loved the advice you got on the last post, especially the one about dealing with it like the real justice system.

Glad it is over and I want to also say that you certainly did not fail. I'm just a stranger lurking in your blog but I can say with no doubts that you are a terrific mom and I think they learned something big today.

I should print out these 2 pages to look back on when I'm at an impasse with my own girls so I can see how a great mom deals with it. :)

Angie said...

I think you did great. And I certainly don't think you failed at all. You put it to them and you stuck to what you said. When you couldn't prove who did it, you stopped the punishment. Your kids know that you are fair.
Tat was my biggest pet peeve growing up was that my parents weren't always fair about things. I think you did a great job.

Julie said...

I couldn't have said it better! I hope that when my 2 little ones get to be your sons age I will be as well spoken and fair as you are.

Thanks so much for your blog,