Friday, November 14, 2008

Looking into home schooling

Yesterday as I was changing Evan's morning diaper, I was suddenly so disgusted and frustrated with the whole ordeal. Seriously, if I were to add up the number of diapers I'd changed in my life time... I don't even want to think about it. And I guess I got a little cranky, because Evan's a smart kid. If he had any desire he could have been potty trained months ago.

But he doesn't, he could care less. Well, that's not true, he cares very much about not going on the potty. We've explained that you cannot go to preschool in diapers. He has talked about going to school like a big boy for over six months now, but replied with a very firm, "I'm not going to school now." when we tried that tactic. And, he's completely unperturbed by the nastiness of it. One day last month, he woke up and immediately wanted breakfast. This is rare, and the kid is tiny, so I jumped all over it; sitting him at the table with a cup and his food right away. He stood up when he was finished and walking away, he was making squishing noises. Smelly, squishy noises. The little snot sat there and leaked all over himself and it never even registered to him to request help or be cleaned. He didn't care.

So, yesterday I figured that I'd just take the hard line approach with him, which is usually the only approach that works with the stubborn little man. I told him I didn't have any diapers for him, all of the ones in the box had Ellie's name on them. Insanely enough, he didn't argue this point. He flailed and whined as I wiggled him into his Thomas undies. All morning long, I sat him on that damn potty. Finally, I just dragged it into the kitchen, figuring it couldn't be any less sanitary than the breakfast incident, and because leaving Ellie unattended is like posting your bank account info on the web. It is going to cost you.

It finally worked. After lots of snacks, toys, reading, crying, whining, and bitching he went. Once. And not since then. He had nap time right after he used it, and I'm motivated and all, but not suicidal. Looking inside one of his dirty diapers is bad enough, I really don't want to see that mess all over his room.

The energy I spent fighting him on this yesterday literally gave me a migraine, and with Curt leaving mid-day for work, it was a battle I couldn't fight alone and still make sure that everyone ate something besides stale pretzels for dinner. So, I'm tabling it. Again. At least until Curt has another seven day break and we can tag team the brat.


C. Beth said...

Oh, Caroline, don't get me started.

Our potty training was going swimmingly until Chickie became completely TRAUMATIZED about all, whether in the potty, underwear, or diaper. Now she's in Pull-Ups, not panties, most of the time, because she'll poop in them and we're trying to get over pooping being traumatic. But often she takes advantage of the Pull-Ups and so our pee training has regressed. Aaargh!!!

April said...

Oh do I feel your frustration. Some kids are just so difficult. I had the same problem with my youngest and we kept telling her that she was going to be in preschool in diapers and that just wasn't enough to convince her. I dropped her off on the first day of the summer program for 3 year olds, where I was told that they do not change diapers and I was in tears apologizing to the teachers for having a kid that just stubbornly refuses to use the potty. She would sit there but she'd wait til she got up to go in her diaper or underwear. One of the teachers told me to just leave her there with changes of underwear and no diapers and they'd deal with the mess. Her first day was a disaster and I thought for sure after a couple days of this they'd kick her out of the program but the next morning I grudgingly took her in expecting the same routine and this little boy sitting by her at breakfast called my baby pee-pee pants and I didn't know what to do but I took the tough love approach and fig'd that humiliation just might be her best motivator. Sure enough by the end of that day that child was potty-trained.

Sorry for the long anecdote there but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone and not to give up, he'll get there. Don't even know you and I wanted to hug you when I read the breakfast story.

stacief said...

I feel your pain completely. My Jan 06 son is not even remotely interested in using the potty. He will sit in a dirty diaper forever and not want it changed. It is freaking exasperating!! He knows how to do it and when...but doesnt want to. I think my august 07 son will be potty trained before Jack...

Thank you for letting me know Im not the only one!

Bri said...

Right there with ya mama. Adam was almost potty trained in a week while I was gone in California. I was very proud of hubby but now we are back to square one. He used to go if he was naked, now he will go on the floor. He used to go when we told him too, now he is defiant and just won't do it. Aagh!

Anonymous said...

C, normally I'd leave a happy Mommy little snippet that said something like "It will get better", but with 4 older kids, you already know that. So instead, I'll wish you a time warp to the point where it IS better!

PTing Daniel has proven to be frustrating as well. Some days, he's happy to sit there for us...and actually pee. Other days, he literally runs away from the Bjorn. Then there was the one time he did my personal favorite: sat on the potty for 20 minutes, got praise from us for trying so nicely....and then proceed to pee on my carpet like a dog. Not cool.

So on second thought....send that time warp back my way when you're finished, ok??



Caroline said...

Man, I had no idea there were so many of us in this boat! I'm very proud of my mommy friends who's kids have made this transition, but I was starting to think it was just me and Ev in diaper-world.

Today when we asked him if we wanted to sit on the potty he happily agreed. He did absolutely nothing for 20 minutes and then looked at us and said "I'm all done here now, but I don't want to take a nap." Little shit.

Anonymous said...

Gunny will pee all day long - on the floor, the wall, the ladder to his brother's bunkbed, and occasionally, the potty chair. He absolutely refused to do #2 anywhere but in his diaper which is absolutely frustrating because he poops like a little man. Hang in there. We all feel your pain!

Anonymous said...

Potty training ranks up there with the worst things in the world. I haven't had one kiddo who made it easy for me. Maybe Max?!
Anthony has the same undies...not that they're in use.

Anonymous said...

Banging my head against a brick wall would be far less painful than potty training! My first two took forever to PT so I was happy to see Dylan making progress at an earlier age than them. He's doing great as far as peeing in the potty goes, still can't seem to make it there in time when he has to poop but we're working on it. We don't even have to tell him to go, he just runs in the bathroom and goes on his own. Then he got this crazy idea to start sticking his head in the toilet after he peed in it. (he uses the big potty)He'd come back out soaking wet! What in the world is wrong with my kid? LOL

Kate and Crew said...

Caroline - this is a great story! LOL. I enjoy other people's misery. Is that wrong? We are not even mentioning potty training to Jace yet. He won't start until he's 3. IMHO 2-year-old's are too weird to PT. I know some people do it, but they must not have weird kids. I say put it away until he's had his 3rd bday and try again.

Oh and FWIW, Jace has almost constant diaper rash because he never tells us when he's pooped. Never. So we have to discover it and then he runs off screaming because he doesn't want his diaper changed. He enjoys sitting in his own filth. Jace does know that when he's 3, the diapers won't fit him anymore, so he'll have to give them up.