Friday, May 16, 2008

Because right now tethering her to the couch seems reasonable

This sweet little baby is the precursor to gray hairs and a drinking habit, I'm sure of it.

Newly mobile, nothing pleases her more than to crawl right past the pile of adorable, educational baby toys and beeline for anything potentially hazardous or breakable. The surround sound stereo, the vacuum cleaner cord, random shoes, the laundry room, the kitchen cabinets, and anything made of paper; all Ellie crack.

And, apparently the little hooligan isn't lacking in the brains department either. The closet door where the vacuum is kept doesn't latch and can be opened with a pull in the correct spot. Just a quick tug to attain the worlds most expensive chew toy.

And she's now very adept at pulling the trashcan at the computer desk over without smacking herself in the head, which is to say that she's learning from her mistakes and perfecting her technique. (DOOM!) It's a veritable cornucopia of goodies in there. Newspaper ads, junk mail, and tags off of clothing all go immediately into her mouth. I'm starting to think she's part billy-goat.

I know this is all pretty damned normal, but combined with the fact that she's stealthily quiet about her attacks, and the fact that it's constant, I'm totally fried by the time Curt gets home.

I busted out the playpen in the hopes of being able to urinate without worry or company, but I'm fairly certain that she's one shrill screaming session away from DCF showing up at my door.

I'm at my wits end with and all out of mommy tricks. Today I let her play with a box that she pulled out of the recycling bin, just because it allowed me to make lunch with two hands. At this point, I may become an attachment parenting convert; not to promote bonding, but just to keep the odd gas receipt out of her mouth.

I'm pretty sure I've got Mother of the Year in the bag.


C. Beth said...

She may be hard to handle, but she is REEEEEALLY cute!! She's looking older!

We're still at least somewhat in this phase with Ana. Even though she's old enough to know the boundaries, she's just not good at staying within them. Aargh!

Anonymous said...

I swear that could have been me writing about my aug 06 baby. Lily won't touch baby food but she loves to eat paper. I just give in and let her play with TV remotes/my cell phone.

LissaB said...

I'm right there with you. When my 11-month-old gets a hold of some paper (love the "part billy-goat"), I take away what I can and just shrug off the part he's chewing... hey, it's now exra fiber in his diet.